Rockin’ Around~
He was quiet, giving a polite nod to Sam as he passed then, “Lux, do you ever think we expect too much of each other?” His question was soft, his voice rough from crying. Not waiting for a response, he entered the room, quickly dropping to his knees next to her. “I’m sorry…”
The Nephilim didn’t speak for a long time, unsure of how to address his apology, or what he’d asked. “At the risk of being cliché… it’s not you, it’s me… I forget sometimes….”
Ben scoffed and scrubbed a hand over his face roughly, “Forget what? That I’m a puny fragile human that you’re stuck with? Or that I’m a Winchester so I’m bound to suffer for it?” the words were harsh and fell out of his mouth before he could stop himself. He turned to her and drew a ragged breath, “Lux can you feel what I’m feeling?”
Lux listened to all his words fall out, each hitting her with their harshness. “Everything you went through. And yes, that you’re human, and fragile.”
She looked up at him briefly, blue eyes turning back to the dresser sitting in front of her. “Sometimes… Only when I try really hard to. It is not very often that I try and you hurt and sometimes it feels like I cannot breathe, but they are not my emotions and the panic is not mine-” She stopped herself from continuing after realizing that she lapsed into Enochian, pulling her knees and arms tight to her body, resting her forehead on her knees.
Rockin’ Around~
He was quiet, giving a polite nod to Sam as he passed then, “Lux, do you ever think we expect too much of each other?” His question was soft, his voice rough from crying. Not waiting for a response, he entered the room, quickly dropping to his knees next to her. “I’m sorry…”
The Nephilim didn’t speak for a long time, unsure of how to address his apology, or what he’d asked. “At the risk of being cliché… it’s not you, it’s me… I forget sometimes….”
You’re such a mom, Lux. *sidehugs her but stands anyway* He eats like a recently-somehow-magically-transformed-from-a-mechanical-object-I-use-to-drive-around-in-into-a-human. Oh wait… *half grins*
*frowns slightly at that* No, pretty sure he eats like a teenaged boy…
*smiles at her* Chinese or Indian?
Chinese. I got your usual. *sits next to him*
*presses a kiss to her cheek* Danke schön mon petit ange.… Yeah that’s about all the foreign language I know. *grins again and pulls her against his side*
*laughs* And you blended languages. Wow. *decides not to mention the fact that she can understand every tongue known to man because show-offs aren’t cool* I got something for Jeep, but I wasn’t sure if he’s awake or not.
*smiles at her laughter* Hey if Ziva can do it, so can I. I’m sexy enough. Not as exotic but beggars can’t be choosers. *shrugs* As for Jeep? I think he’s awake just hiding out.
*can’t help but let her eyes wander over his frame before putting her attention on the bag of food* Maybe go get him so I don’t have to worry about whether he’s eaten, or whether he’s raided all the leftovers in the middle of the night?
*smiles at her* Chinese or Indian?
Chinese. I got your usual. *sits next to him*
*presses a kiss to her cheek* Danke schön mon petit ange.… Yeah that’s about all the foreign language I know. *grins again and pulls her against his side*
*laughs* And you blended languages. Wow. *decides not to mention the fact that she can understand every tongue known to man because show-offs aren’t cool* I got something for Jeep, but I wasn’t sure if he’s awake or not.
*smiles at her* Chinese or Indian?
Chinese. I got your usual. *sits next to him*
Rockin’ Around~
Hopping off the banister and giving Ben space was purely instinctual, Lux closer to the door when she stopped moving. “I didn’t know Lisa Braeden, but I know enough about mothers to know that seeing their children miserable hurts them. And-” She bit her tongue, keeping in her comment about how it wasn’t Ben’s fault that she was gone, but he was a Winchester and they were hardwired as a bloodline to try and save everyone. It was unfair to throw that in his face.
“Forget that I said anything on the matter,” she said, her words sound more blank and robotic than she had intended them to. God, she felt her age.
Ben, for one of the first times since he was resurrected, was rejected and that hurt just as much as the grief that he was feeling. He stayed quiet and just wandered off the cover of the porch, wading through the shin deep snow to pause in the middle of the backyard to lift his gaze upward. The cold air and snow dried the hot tears on his cheek as he tried to center himself in the quiet, snow blanketed world.
Lux watched him for a long, long moment before ducking back inside the house and rejoining everyone. Her quiet was apparently unnerving from the way Sam grabbed her shoulder to get her attention. Leaving Jeep with her stepdad, the pair of angels went upstairs, sitting in the guest bedroom.
“It’s just… difficult,” she told Samandiriel after a good ten minutes of silence, knees hugged to her chest, her shoulder resting slightly against his. He scooted away a little, giving the illusion of human space, but kept his Grace wrapped with hers, a hug that only they would know about that was just so much more emotionally helpful that a hug from the vessel itself.
“You were Given a Winchester, it’s not going to be easy. Look at everything Castiel went through,“ Sam pointed out. “At least he’s not self-sacrificing like his father, uncle, and grandfather.”
“Yet,” she muttered. “I keep asking the Father if I can do this, but-”
“But, Father never answers, because He won’t give you spoilers, because this is a test.” The seraph smiled knowingly at her, bumping her shoulder with his flannel-clad one. “I asked Him something similar when the Messenger brought my orders about you, Caeli Lumen.”
She sighed, tucking golden strands out of equally golden eyes. “Mysterious is simply synonymous for bored, and who not to entertain Him but His own children?”
They’d taken a spot on the floor, backs against the foot of the bed, and he laughed, leaning back against it. “I think that’s blasphemy, Lux.”
Lux smiled at her friend. “I highly doubt I will be kicked out for being an unmanageable grandchild.”
Sam smiled a little brighter at her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and tugging her close, pressing a kiss to her temple, then resting his cheek atop her head. “He will come around. Give him time.”
“You think so?” she asked softly, reverting to English as he had.
“I can’t promise you anything, he is a guy,” Sam warned.
“You’re a wave of celestial intent, Sam,” Lux replied, exasperated.
“Bound to my vessel, fledge,” he replied, ruffling her hair.
Shoving him away -and knocking him over, which only set him laughing-, the Nephilim reached up and fixed her mussed hair. “You’re mean.”
“It’s because you’re a baby, I can’t help myself,” he explained, sitting up.
“Everyone else loves me, what’s wrong with you?” she laughed.
Sam’s blue eyes turned shocked, his face turning playfully offended, palm pressed to his chest. “I went native, rude!”
Her laughter only set him laughing again, the pair stopping when they heard a creak down the hall, on the landing. Sam brushed her hair back, touching her forehead with two fingers -something that annoyed her greatly-, pushing himself to standing.
“I’ll let you two talk, Caeli Lumen,” he told her quietly.
As he turned away, she sighed, calling out to him. “Samand- Sam….” When he turned back, she breathed out, “You do not know how grateful I am to be able to speak of such trials with you, Zorge.”
He smiled sweetly, shrugging. “I do, Cral. Patch things up a bit, you two are hopeless without each other.” And with that, he let himself out, nodding politely at Ben as he passed and continued down the stairs.
Lux looked up at her charge -and so, so much more- lingering in the hallway, and then turned away, her eyes on the dresser not four feet in front of her. “We don’t have to talk now, Ben. It can wait.”
It shouldn’t. Could wait, but most likely shouldn’t.
Rockin’ Around~
Ben sank into her embrace, his head resting comfortably on her breasts. Lux’s small hands worked down his shoulders, massaging at the tension she found there. He stayed silent as she tried to ease his jealousy about Sam. That wasn’t what was bothering him, not entirely. The teenager lifted his arms and wrapped them around her. She was his guardian angel -and more- his mind added, he should be able to tell her.
“Lux…it’s my first Christmas without my mother.”
He sank into her and she couldn’t resist the urge, curling more around him as he wrapped his arm around her middle.
“I think she’d want you to be happy,” she said softly, hesitantly. “She wouldn’t want you to be so upset on Christmas, of all holidays.”
“You didn’t know her! How can you say that she wouldn’t want something for me?!” He cried, real, honest, and bitter tears of regret, “She’s gone and she shouldn’t be.”
Hopping off the banister and giving Ben space was purely instinctual, Lux closer to the door when she stopped moving. “I didn’t know Lisa Braeden, but I know enough about mothers to know that seeing their children miserable hurts them. And-” She bit her tongue, keeping in her comment about how it wasn’t Ben’s fault that she was gone, but he was a Winchester and they were hardwired as a bloodline to try and save everyone. It was unfair to throw that in his face.
“Forget that I said anything on the matter,” she said, her words sound more blank and robotic than she had intended them to. God, she felt her age.
Rockin’ Around~
Ben sank into her embrace, his head resting comfortably on her breasts. Lux’s small hands worked down his shoulders, massaging at the tension she found there. He stayed silent as she tried to ease his jealousy about Sam. That wasn’t what was bothering him, not entirely. The teenager lifted his arms and wrapped them around her. She was his guardian angel -and more- his mind added, he should be able to tell her.
“Lux…it’s my first Christmas without my mother.”
He sank into her and she couldn’t resist the urge, curling more around him as he wrapped his arm around her middle.
“I think she’d want you to be happy,” she said softly, hesitantly. “She wouldn’t want you to be so upset on Christmas, of all holidays.”
You And I, We Never Get To Sleep, We’re Up All Day
Lux stood at the front of the classroom, blue eyes peering out at the young kids before her. Her teacher’s hand rested on her shoulder, fatherly and reassuring.
“Class, this is our new student, Lux Milton. She just transferred from-“ the man stopped, looking down at her. “You didn’t say what school you went to before, Lux.”
“I was homeschooled,” she admitted sheepishly. A couple of quiet laughs rippled through the room, and the girl bit the inside of her lip. Really, she was a wave of cosmic intent bound to a body, a force of nature, a creature of God, one to be reckoned with, and she wasn’t even sure if she could handle this.
Public school will be good for Lux, Sam had reasoned. While he was right, that didn’t stop the Nephilim from being so terrified that she was worried she might start molting.
“That’s enough. Anyone caught laughing will be given detention. Welcome, Miss Milton.” The teacher said with a polite smile. “Why don’t you sit next to…” he glanced around the room briefly. “Sam. Raise your hand please.”
The dark haired boy complied, not looking up from his notebook. Lux made her way to the back of the classroom, and the teacher began to delve into the lesson.
“Grungy layers? Is that, like, your thing?” her table partner asked quietly as she dug in her messenger bag for a notebook. Pulling out the comp book she’d been searching for, Lux looked down at what she’d been wearing. Tights under worn jeans, under a short skirt. Two tank tops under a short-sleeved shirt, under a flannel that swallowed her already small frame. Not to mention her countless woven bracelets. She could see why he asked.
“I like the layers,” she answered sheepishly. “So, I guess it kind of is.”
He smiled, brushing his hair out of his eyes, and she was almost shocked to find that they were as blue, if not bluer than hers.
“I can dig that.” He extended his hand. “Sam Hayne.”
“Did your parents really name you that?” she asked, eyes wide.
“Phonetic pronunciation of Samhain?” he asked. “Yeah, unfortunately. Thankfully, I’m surrounded by uncultured teens. Did your parents really name you Lux?”
She shook his hand then, nodding slightly. “My older sister was named Virtue, I suppose I can’t complain.”
After that, they focused on the lesson, Sam passing her a note about her schedule. They found that they had three classes and lunch together, which was pretty great in her opinion, because everyone else seemed to be giving her wide berth.
The first week went by swiftly, and by her stepfather’s recommendation, Lux invited her new friend over for dinner on Friday night, extending the invite to his parents as well. The adults had coffee directly following dinner, and Lux and Sam settled in the living room, watching some rerun of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
Sam came to dinner twice the next week, and the next week, and the next week, slowly becoming a permanent fixture at the Milton-Winchester house.
When they finished their eighth grade year two years later, the summer was spent with Lux at cheer camp, and Sam at football practices, the inseparable pair often found boneless and exhausted, curled up together on the couch. Sam had long since shed his skater hair, settling for a fauxhawk when he felt like styling it, and Lux was still her short, bubbly self. If Lux couldn’t be found, all anyone had to do was call Sam, and vice versa. They were not just Lux, and just Sam. They were Lux and Sam, or Sam and Lux, a single entity, the best of friends.
He knew that she wasn’t human, that he stepfathers were a hunter and a Pagan god respectively, that her mother was a goddess, and her father an archangel. She learned that he Fell to give a barren couple the child they’d tried years for.
Samandiriel, Sam Hayne. Caeli Lumen, Lux Milton.
They fit like puzzle pieces, bound by friendship, bound by Grace, bound by the fact that they were fledgling freaks just struggling to get by in the human world.
It came as no shock that Sam asked Lux to homecoming, the pair going in blue –his vest and her dress made by Veritas by hand. She got to wear the vintage jersey with his number at the homecoming game, and they danced at the social the night after.
They were…. Sort of an item, but not really. They were something stronger than a stupid high school romance, something deeper. He was her guardian as she was his. He gifted her his own golden feathers, loved her like she’d never been loved before, and she loved him as well.
But then her accident happened.
The first week of school their sophomore year, that first weekend back to school, Lux and Anderia went into the woods, and Sam felt her pain resonate in his Grace, felt the Host panicking that something had happened to Heaven’s Light.
He Protector, he was there second, only after her father.
The witches responsible were nowhere to be found.
Things were different from then on. They were close, but not as close as they’d been before, Lux less bright, more clinical and cold and calculating.
More Heavenly was the only way to put it.
But Sam understood. They were still best friends, though to the human they were surrounded by, it seemed as if they’d stopped talking. Sam was accused of stalking Lux when it really wasn’t so, and publicly, things were…
Different.
They were different.
And then came Ben Braeden, and things changed more.
Samandiriel understood duty. He had been raised in Heaven, there was nothing he understood more, not including imagination.
He understood that Lux was charged with taking care of Ben, and he understood that his Father had given her the task so that she would stay out of trouble and stop mucking up his Vision for the world.
But he also understood that Lux wasn’t perfect and emotionless. And he understood the way that Ben looked at her, like she was his saving grace.
He knew it was predestined for him to love Lux, and he knew it was predestined for her to love Ben.
He settled for what he could get, spending time with his best friend when he could.
“So, fledge-“
“You can only call me that if you tell me how old you are.”
“17.”
“You’re a lying sack of meat, you know that?”
“I do, actually. So, trying out for this year’s musical? We’re doing Into The Woods Junior.”
